Andy Borowitz Handles Political Comedy Like No One Else on Earth

I have to admit that I’m extremely jealous of
The New Yorker’s comic writer Andy Borowitz.  How does he
do this?  Just
look at what he wrote here.

We all have access to the same information.  How is it possible that, several times a week, he combines two or more of Trump’s attributes into a “news” story that’s so utterly hilarious?

Yesterday, I decided to declare war.  I wrote down (below) as many data points as I could think of that are happening in Trump’s disturbed world, and spent a bit of time blending them in certain ways that I thought may make people smile.  Nothing.

I haven’t quit, but I’m deeply discouraged.

  • Jared Kushner incompetent, though in charge of solving every major problem facing the United States
  • Crushing free press / enemies of the people
  • Anti-science
  • Disregards public health officials
  • Hates Andrew Cuomo for his success
  • Evangelicals, who aren’t real Christians, adore him
  • Sends ventilators to Russia
  • Has trouble with ramps / slurring speech
  • Wants to be on Mount Rushmore
  • “No one’s done more for the blacks”
  • Interview at Lincoln Memorial
  • Not Making America Great Again
  • McDonald’s cheeseburgers / getting poisoned
  • Bill Barr his partner in obstruction
  • Supreme Court hates him
  • Probably going to prison or moving to Moscow
  • Hugs U.S. flag
  • Bans on confederate flag
  • Protects confederate statues
  • Racists were traitors in the Civil War
  • “Fine people”
  • Voter suppression / gerrymandering / closing polls
  • Destroying environment / climate change / Paris agreement
  • Ruining education / Betsy DeVos
  • Evangelical Christians think he’s of high moral character / good role model
  • World laughing at Trump, U.S.
  • Failed rally / Tulsa / Oklahoma
  • Fox News becoming a bit critical of him
  • Slowing COVID-19 testing
  • Plummeting in polls
  • Detested internationally
  • Ineffective with Kim Jong-un
  • Failed trade war
  • Niece’s tell-all book
  • Bolton’s book / only cares about re-election
  • Generals’ denunciations
  • Mexican border wall fail / Canada builds wall
  • Reality TV
  • “You’re fired”
  • Photo op
  • Stimulus checks
  • I don’t kid / Trump kidding
  • “Fake news”
  • Supporters infecting one another
  • No second wave
  • Dominate the streets
  • Kids in cages
  • Pelosi and Schumer
  • Nepotism
  • Hillary’s emails
  • Putin’s bitch
  • 21K+ Lies
  • Press secretary lies conflict with Trump’s
  • Visibly depressed
  • Police violence
  • BLM popularity
  • Pence kisses Trump’s ass
  • Doesn’t know geography
  • Doesn’t speak well
  • Queen Elizabeth wants to kill him
  • Jeffrey Epstein didn’t commit suicide
  • Taking a knee
  • Where is Fauci?
  • Clorox / ingesting disinfectants
  • Melania doesn’t like him
  • Creepy with Ivanka
  • Don Jr. and Eric say massive business involvement with Russia
  • Hunter Biden / Ukraine
  • Was impeached
  • Senate cowardly
  • Unemployment
  • Job loss to China
  • Leaders of enemy countries all want Trump to stay

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